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The world financial crisis – Bruce Jones
If you’re like most of us and don’t understand what and why this financial problem is all about, well, it’s a good thing Bruce Jones is there because he does, and he’s about to tell us in a language we can all understand.
Here is an explanation as good as you’ll get.
Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in New York. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).
Word soon gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages and as a result her turn-over increases massively.
A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.
At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.
One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the bank (subsequently fired due to his negativity) decides that the time has come to demand payment from Heidi. She doesn’t have the cash, so she asks her customers to pay her.
But, because they are all out of work alcoholics, they cannot pay back their debts, as a result, Heidi cannot repay the bank and files for bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 99 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 90 %.
The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment terms and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier also files for bankruptcy and her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.
The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties. The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.
The Djinnang Association.
The Djinnang Association (Qld) will be having their usual yearly get together on Saturday 30 May 2009 at the Public Service Club, George St., Brisbane, commencing at 1400hrs. More information may be obtained from Alison Cridland at 47 Ormond Rd., OXLEY QLD 4075, phone (07)3375 9131. If you have access to the Internet, go to http://www.djinnang.com/ and click on Calendar and Events.
Another get together is planned in Melbourne for TelsTechs and CommsOps (incl wives, partners etc) on 2 May 2009 at the Sergeants’ Mess Laverton. About 30 turned up for the first one last year, so get the news out early and let’s make it bigger and better – we are not getting any younger, and the opportunity to renew acquaintances may pass you by. The plan is to kick off at 1400 and finish at about 1900 – drinks and light refreshments will be available. Please let me know by 17 April if you intend being there, so I can arrange easy access to the base.
Don’t forget 29 November 2009 – its 20 years since the passing of the Telecommunications Technician mustering, and activities are being planned for that date in Melbourne – it is a Saturday so it should suit most people – mark it in your diary!
A blond goes back to work.
This is a very short video – only takes about 4 seconds. A blonde goes back to work after many years. The scary thing is most people under 30 won’t understand it. Click HERE
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On TV, during all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
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Herc in a hole.
Richard Harcourt in the UK sent us an article about a C130 operating in Iraq. It shows what happens when you don't properly "NOTAM" an airfield that’s having major repairs done.
A NOTAM is the quasi-acronym for a "Notice To Airmen". NOTAMs are created and transmitted by government agencies under guidelines specified by the Convention on International Civil Aviation. A NOTAM is filed with an aviation authority to alert aircraft pilots of any hazards en route or at a specific location. A Hercules C130 flew into a US operated airfield in Iraq during the day and saw there was construction equipment on the runway!!! Yet there was no Notam issued to pilots using the airport. He complained, but nothing was updated.
A repair trench was being dug in the runway to fix a large surface crack, and it was not NOTAMed. But work continued….. And no one switched off the runway landing lights that night either……
It seems the construction continued into the night, and it still was not marked or NOTAMed. A C-130 arrived and lined up to land on the runway and as it was dark didn't see or know about the construction works. It wound up going through what is now a large deep pit on the runway.
The C-130 was totally trashed. There were several injuries to the crew and the few passengers that were on board, but luckily no one was killed. Quite the set of major failures somewhere in the system regarding this improper construction and no notifications regarding it.
Click on the photo for more pics of the incident. |
On TV, all grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
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